Don’t get me wrong, nothing is more universal than the 10-point rating system for women and whoever came up with it deserves, at the very least, an Apple “Think Different” poster. He is also, easily, on my Top 5 list of people’s whose hand I would like to shake.

Ever since I learned how to count, I have applied the 10-point rating system to every woman I see, meet, get with, and break up with. If I’m having a difficult time describing how fine the woman I saw at the supermarket was, I give her a number. “Maaaaan, she was at least a 9,” I’ll tell my boys. If I met a woman under the influence in a dimly lit bar only to meet her again for lunch in a well-lit eatery, and she looks drastically different than how I remember, again, I go to the 10-point rating system. “Maaaan, when I met her, I could’ve sworn she was at least an 8. Then we had lunch, and it turns out she’s a 6.5 and I’m only giving her the point-five because she went dutch with me.” Yes, for me, the 10-point rating system has been like a calculator — a shortcut to the grand total of a woman’s specific perfections and flaws. Thing is, every man’s calculator is wired differently, which is why I am moving to a 5-point rating system.

The problem with the 10-point system is I have never gone past a 6, and when I did, it was never a compliment because all it really ever said was, “Only on my drunkest, loneliest night.” Thus, if I haven’t ever really gone past a 6, what are numbers 1-5 for? On a scale of 1-10, I never go lower than a 5, because I know it would only make me a 10-point jerk. Only once have I heard a man go to a 5, and as I recall, it was because she had nine toes and a bad weave, which is totally unfair. Every woman has a bad weave once or twice in her life, that is no reason to give her a 5. This is why a 5-point rating system is more than adequate, because with it, lines are clearly drawn. Allow me to break it down: 1 - I would never ever. 2 – I would never. 3 – I would, probably, maybe (It should be noted, most women will fall here). 4 – I would. 5 – I would right now, tomorrow, and if we would’ve met yesterday, then, too. See how easy that is? Not only does the 3 help make a clear distinction between the haves and the wishes-they-had-its, but for the haves, it cuts down on a lot of the hyperbole men usually like to give to women who are an 8 and above on the 10-point scale.

No man would do something to a 10, they wouldn’t do to an 8, and the difference between an 8, 9, and 10 usually comes down to something outside of looks, like how good she can make a grilled cheese sandwich. The other problem with a 10? Whenever a man gives it to a woman, it only encourages his friends to pick said 10 apart brutally, which is unfair to her. If anything, I am now reserving the 10 for those women who, on the old rating system, I called an 11. On the 5-point system, those women — the Halle Berry-types I only see every few months or so — can be given a 10, which is to say, they’re twice as fine as any 5 I see. This system is much better. Someone needs to get me an Apple Think Different poster too.